The misadventures of MarySue man!
by Desthemarauderette
Summary: Learn about the misadventures of Mary-Sue Man and her partner, The Cliche! PG to be safe. Hilarity Ensues! Please read and review!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it.   
  
This is obvioulsy not my normal writing style, but I had this unexplainable urge to make fun of Mary-Sues and cliches...So here it is!!  
  
The Unexpected relative cliche!!!  
  
Once upon a time, our hero, Harry Potter decided he wanted to go visit Professor Dumbledore. As he was walking to Professor Dumbledores office, he heard a noise that sounded oddly like someone sobbing. Well being the hero he is, Harry Potter decided to go find out where the unexplainable sobbing was coming from. He walked into the first classroom he saw, and by his luck, he found the origin of the sobs. And to think, it was on his first try!!  
  
He wanted to find out what was wrong so he walked up to her, and said "Whats wrong?" The girl jumped in the air, obviously embarassed that she had been caught sobbing in the middle of a class room, but never-the-less responded. "I am looking for Professor Dumbledores office, but I cant find it, So, Being the drama queen I am, I decided to over-dramatize the situation. I had just started crying when you walked in." Said the girl.   
  
Harry had trouble concentrating on what she had said, because here, standing in front of him, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. She had waist-length platinum blonde hair, and sparkling ice blue eyes which every few seconds shimmered carpet green. "Well I'm heading over to Professor Dumbledores office now, would you care to join me?" Said Harry. "Thats very nice of you Harry, I would love to join you!" Harry had absolutely no idea how she knew his name but he paid no attention. She had obviously read about him in one of the many magazines he had appeared in.  
  
After about five minutes of walking, they reached the entrance to Professor Dumbledores office. "Cherry Poppin Daddies" Stated Harry. All of a sudden the gargoyle blocking the stairway jumped to the side and the stairs started moving. Harry and whats her name made their way up the moving stair case. They eventually got to the door of the office and knocked.  
  
The door opened itself magically and in walked Harry Potter and that other girl. "Ahh I see you have met Mary-Sue Harry Lillian James Padfoot Arabella Redundant Bilius Potter." Said Professor. "Well actually professor I didnt know her name until just now but thats..-wait do we have the same last name?" exclaimed Harry. "Mr.Potter I think you need to have a seat." Said Dumbledore.  
  
"This is Mary-Sue Harry Lillian James Padfoot Arablla Redundant Bilius Potter. She is your identical twin sister. She is also coincidently my great,great,great grandaughter, Voldemorts long lost daughter, full blood veela, and the greatest seer of her time. She will eventually catch and kill Voldemort and singlehandedly bring down every last one of his deatheaters." said Dumbledore.  
  
"Oh Okay, that explains alot!" says Harry.   
  
The next day Harry mysteriously fell out of a window during quidditch practice and was severely wounded. They didn't have anyone to fill in for the spot of seeker, so they inevitably asked Mary Potter if she would like to fill in for Harry Potter. She accepted.  
  
The next day was the first game of the season. The teams stepped out onto the feild and kicked off onto the ground. Even though Mary Potter had never been on a broom before she was the most spectacular flyer Hogwarts had ever seen in the entirety of its existence. She was officially proclaimed the Quidditch Angel. She caught the snitch 76 seconds into the game and the Gryffindors won by an extravagent amount of points. Mary was made the permanent seeker of the Gryffindor quidditch team. She felt bad about taking this position away from Harry though. She couldn't live with the guilt, so she talked to Dumbledore and Oliver Wood (Who by the way gave his position as team captain to Mary) and they decided that the Gryffindor team could have two seekers, just so Mary wouldnt feel bad.  
  
That night back in the common room, Mary was explaining to all the girls about how she somehow was dating half the guys in Ravenclaw, yet of her Gryffindor boyfriends remained clueless ("Its just my charms I suppose"). Suddenly out of nowhere Voldemort apparated into the room!!  
  
He turned to Harry Potter, who was in the girls dormitorys for some reason and in a sickly sick tone said "You have foiled my plans before Potter but not this time, I shall kill you tonight!" Mary heard this and just as Voldemort said Avada Kedavra Mary jumped in front of Harry. Mary was at that moment struck by a ray of green light. "Shoot!" stated Voldemort as he disapparated out of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.   
  
Well, Mary-Sue Harry Lillian James Padfoot Arabella Redundant Bilius Potter died that day. That night they had a memorial service in remembrance of her.   
  
But Mary Potter had lived the normal life of a Mary-Sue. She came to Hogwarts, Her Identity was revealed, All the guys loved her, she was better then everyone at everything, and she died. The End.   
  
A/N: Did you like it? Would you like me to write a second one? Should there have been more humor? Should I try to write a serious story? You guys tell me im all about my fans!!  
  
And now presenting to you, my reviewing song  
  
Reviewing is fun,  
  
Reviewing is cool,  
  
Review,review,review  
  
And stay in school...  
  
For school is cool,  
  
Review Review Review!! 


	2. The Love of A Lockheart

A/N: This would be the unveiling of a new and unheard of relationship...If it werent vastly overdone already...With no further ado I present to you...  
  
Lockhearts Love  
  
Gilderoy Lockheart was walking down one of the many corridors of Hogwarts when noticed one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen in his entire life (which consisted of thirty-seven years). "Hello," Gilderoy said. "Where have you been all my life?" Gilderoy looked away in embarassment just as the beautiful stranger looked away in what he thought was shyness.  
  
Feeling bold, Gilderoy reached up and played with a lock of hair that had escaped from behind the ear of this person that he saw. "You've got the most touchably soft hair i've ever felt." stated Lockheart.   
  
Out of nowhere Professor Snape appeared. Looking thoroughly disgusted he simply looked away from Lockheart (who was now kissing the beautiful naught.) and said, "Gilderoy get away from the mirror. The next time I catch you admireing your self your going to have to tell people to start calling you Gildedroy!!"  
  
Gilderoy fainted.   
  
The End - 


End file.
